Rookie

That's what I am at is mommy thing. Baby K woke up with a fever this AM, stayed away all day and just returned late this PM. I was literarily so scared and went into panic mode. In fact, I was still pretty labile and teary eyed just now. Oh my goodness, crazy thoughts ran into my head, like what if ICAB hears about this, will they change their minds! Am I a bad mother, I've had her for less than two weeks and now she's sick? Will her foster parents be shaking their head thinking, "tsk, tsk, tsk, she never got sick with us". Will this be mentioned in the post-placement home studies? Will I be the totally incompetent mom, because instead of chartering a private plane, I brought my child home in a commercial plane with hundreds of other people, who all seem like coughing or sniffling or sneezing??? How dare me!!!!
But prayer is awesome and the Lord's palpable presence in our home and family continues to be my saving grace and salvation from my anxious heart. These worries from moment to moment just get such a grip of me. There is such a pressure that I feel to do right by this beautiful beautiful child. I just love her so much that I hurt for her. But I know that I need to trust that God is the mighty healer of all healers and right now, He has His mighty hands on my little girl. I need to continue to trust in Him and not my uncertain" rookie mommy" skills. With the Lord's continued guidance, Edward and I would become the parents that He has ordained for baby K.

Daddy's Got This

Whew! What a night!! Today, baby K is a bit under the weather with a stuffy nose and a slight fever. I called on a couple of very experienced mommy friends of mine to keep the first time mommy anxieties under control! Thanks to my two good friends, I was able to keep some clarity to take care of my sweet baby girl. Edward did a market run this evening for Pedialyte freezer pops and saline nasal spray. He also got a medicine dropper which I am convince is the greatest invention ever! So, got some medicine in our girl which seem to take care of her fever. I fed her dinner and she ate well. I put her down at eight but only slept for an hour because her stuffed up nose made her very uncomfortable. I cleaned her cute little nose, rocked her to sleep again and she stayed asleep again for another hour. Then the pattern continued two more times. The last time she got up, we gave her another dose of medicine. Little did we know, she would become extremely hyper from it. So, she is feeling better but wants to be up and playing. She is asking for her iPad and YouTube videos. I gave her to her techie father and I will rest that he's got this. It's not about routines tonight. It's about self-preservation for mommy and at the same time, Daddy can win some brownie points from baby K! I'm bushed and going to catch some zzzzzz while Daddy does his thing. I'm hoping he will get her to sleep sometime in the next hour, we'll see. Currently, they are singing the alphabet song...oy!

Sweetness

Sweetness is the word in our family! Baby K is so amazingly sweet. Her head smells so pungently sweet with the mixed scent of baby shampoo and her sweaty little head after running around while playing. Or the smell I get when kissing her cheek, which is a combination of sweet milky breath and baby lotion. Then she has the sweetest smile which lights up her entire face! But the sweetest of all is her voice when she says, "Mommy, I love you"...

Happy Birthday Ate Melly

Today is baby K's foster sister's birthday. She helped take care of her while she was growing up. We just hope her birthday is as joyful as it can be considering that she is missing baby K terribly. She emailed me to say that though bittersweet, it is the best gift knowing baby K now has a family of her own. How wonderful is that. Truly, we didn't just gain our daughter, we gained a family in her foster family!

Men's Underwear

...are more comfortable than I thought! Hello blogging world!!! You probably don't want to know, but I'm blogging to you in a T-shirt and my husband's comfy briefs!!! It seems that we left home so quickly and in a whirlwind that I showed up here with the clothes on my back with barely enough extra necessities. Yes, we are in Makati...lots of malls and services abound late into the night. But, when it's Friday night at 8:30pm and the lights are out and I've just rocked a 30 pound toddler to sleep while singing lullabies until my arms were slightly numb, I've learned quickly that you pick your battles. When a sleepy and tired momma finds out that her first pair of pajamas are bring laundered and the second pair became a victim of the wet towel thrown in the hamper, one must take drastic measures. Not to summon the driver to take me to a perfectly good open mall, not walk over next door and ask my gracious friend who's hosting us to loan me one, or walk down to the laundry room to check if the first ones are dried or maybe just sleep in my own underwear (not an option because our friends 8 year old likes to pop in at times to see the baby). No...those things would take effort and precious energy. I looked wearily at my husband and said the magic words: "Can I please borrow your underwear?". He looks at me slightly bewildered and recoils a bit. But he gets it. We're both tired and ain't no way either of us are leaving this house at this ungodly hour of 8pm on a Friday to look for pajamas for me! Dear God, no way! So, Edward walks over to our shared suitcase (yes, we brought ONE suitcase) and grabs one of his briefs and hands it over to me with a slightly perturbed face! I look at it hesitantly at first. It's slightly more material than I'm used to but whattaheck, it's all I got! So, I donn the cotton, granny panty resembling undies and took the plunge. For a minute, my body felt a bit disoriented but immediately, the sense of pacifying comfort came over me! I think I might have even heard angels singing! Wow! I'm totally digging these! So, the baby is asleep, I didn't have to exert anymore energy, I could continue to cuddle her and watch her sleep...all in my comfy new pajamas! So friends who will be traveling after me to pick up their kiddos. Please pack enough pajamas...unless of course, you would like to have this heavenly experience with men's underwear!

ICAB Day

It's been a good day! I'm still amaze at this little person who is my daughter!

Daddy!!!!!

Squealed an exuberant baby K when she saw Edward!!! Edward and I are finding that we now work in shifts! He takes a shower during baby K's morning play outside, then we try to switch off! Key word there is try...though I didnt get a shower in yesterday until dinnertime! Yikes! So, yesterday, he took a shower and was away from us for about 15 minutes, We were outside watching the birds before her morning nap and I had her in my arms. Then I hear an exuberant squeal..."Daddy"!!! Followed by arms flailing and reaching towards Edward, as he was walking towards us! It's a moment that will forever be ingrained in my memory! I will surely cherish for a lifetime, that in 72 hours, we have become baby K's Mommy and Daddy, the fortunate people that God entrusted this little angel with. I am grateful for the peace that Jesus has put in my heart. It's as if, I was always meant to do this...