Sunday, February 22, 2015

24 months

Today, I endure my 24th month of (paper) pregnancy. I've been anticipating this day...trying to shake the feeling of restlessness and focus on hope to soon having a new daughter or son! Hoping that each day that passes bring me closer to my next child. Hoping that I will soon, be free from the wait, the labor pains, the contractions, and the day to day push. Despite popular belief, adoptive mothers labor too. We feel and endure contractions parallel to that of a birth mother. You may be shaking your head no but ask any adoptive parent. The labor pains and toils are very real...they might not be felt physically in the same way but they are felt in the heart. Oftentimes, the labor of an adoptive mother can last for months! My first paper pregnancy lasted 17 months and the labor began in August.My baby was not placed in my arms until February the next year. Almost six months passed, until I held that precious baby in my arms. She was gorgeous. The most beautiful creature I have ever seen. The wait, the anxiousness, the exhaustion, all fell away as we culminated to this day. It was amazing...a day that I will always remember for the rest of my life. That fated day, God brought us to, was the result of a long journey. Yet, there we were, my husband and I, holding our new baby girl. We knew then that God's perfect plan has come to fruition. She was the affirmation that God has not forgotten us, that He heard our prayers. That in due time, His promise to redeem us will come true. And redeem us, He did! In a big big way, with the blessing of our little girl. Our sweet little baby girl! But today, I was very much tempted to throw a pity party. This paper pregnancy feel endless. As of today, I've surpassed the gestation of an elephant. Did you know, they have the longest gestation period of a mammal? Their gestation culminates at 22 months. This is even longer than the Blue Whale, whose gestation lasts around 12 months. In fairness, there are a few fish and amphibians that have gestation periods much longer than an elephant. For example, the Alpine Salamander give birth to a live young after a 3 year pregnancy. In addition, Spiny Dog Fish are pregnant for 24 months, and there are claims Frilled Shark have been recorded to have gestation periods up to 3.5 years. But, I am human! And today, I feel selfishly entitled to throw my pity party, since I can officially claim that I have had a longer gestation than an elephant! I have been pregnant longer than an ELEPHANT!!!! That has to count for something!!! I was wanted to declare my own holiday to sit on the couch and eat potato chips to my heart's content! But I prayed incessantly and by Jesus' grace and mercy, I rolled out of bed this morning and planted my feet firmly on the ground. I went to church surrounded by God's amazing grace and He alone, enabled me to raise my hands up in worship despite my heavy heart. Despite this long enduring wait, feelings of hopelessness faded away. I know God's plan and timing is perfect. In due time, this labor and toil will pass. By His will, our family will be united with the child He alone has chosen for us to have the privilege in raising. I have no reason to believe that He will not make good on His promise. So, today, I may have been pregnant longer than an elephant but I cling to the hope that my savior will soon redeem me! For now, I endure the race and continue to wait...

4 comments:

  1. I feel you. Litterally. The feelings comes back when I read this, but only fractionally. I am apparently Alpine Salamander from the 1st adoption. And the moment we had him, the 14 year wait of a family and 4 year adoption waiting period all became true, as in the Promise of God to Jerimiah, in a matter of that first moment and the wait proved to be the perfect plan despite my feelings and wishes that it should have gone faster. I could never have such compassion for others in wait and turmoil, and thankfulness for what I have, without that wait. Wait is a gift, we we all need to learn to enjoy... I will wait in hopefully anticipation to see nr. 2!!

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